Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Holy shit dude........stairs
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
