My brain says no but my pants say off.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Randomize
