Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
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