You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
