Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Randomize
