I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
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