dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
