Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
