Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
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