We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
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