OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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