We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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