I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
