I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
