I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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