i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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