i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
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