If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
