So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Randomize
