I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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