Porn is love you can see.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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