He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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