Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
