you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Randomize
