she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
