At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Randomize
