I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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