you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
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