Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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