I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
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