i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize