Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Randomize
