but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
