its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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