Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I'm too high and old for this...
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
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