I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
