haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Randomize
