trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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