Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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