I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
