he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
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