love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Randomize
