Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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