they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Randomize
