just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Randomize
