I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
