Yo dont text me then not text me
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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