okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
did you just send me my own nude
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize