Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
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