So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
