fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
