You smell like stripper and shame
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
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