Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
