STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
