Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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