By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Randomize