how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Randomize
