White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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