sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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