True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
