Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
