one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Randomize